to me, among other definitions, means the time spent doing nothing in particular for no particular reason. Time spent without the awareness of its passing. Going on little unplanned adventures, because everything seemed adventurous then.
What is the difference between then and now, though? Why do I feel there is such a riff, a difference between the time I had and the time I have?
Obviously, I cannot live as I did when I was 8 or 13 due to having to actually get shit done as a “functioning and valuable member of society.” I think that a necessary part of being human is not getting too caught up in the present demands. Can the playfulness and carelessness of childhood be merged with the wisdom and responsibility of adulthood? I think the issue lies less with not being able to be young at heart and more with forgetting how to be child-like. Neglecting to do things for no reason.
I’ve read and heard that life is simply what you make it.
Live life because and just ‘cause with a cause but sometimes with no cause
The 3x3ft. pile of clothing in my closet evokes a sort of fear in me when I look at it. These clothes that for some reason are worth my time and concern have come to overwhelm me. I am overwhelmed not only by their presence, but also by all that I have invested into them. All of the thinking and planning, all of the money spent… for what reason? I know that I can answer my own question: I believe that appearance matters, that how you present yourself to others shows a certain amount of self-respect. It also, to me, shows respect to other people. A selfish type of respect, but it’s something that says, “Hey, I care enough what you think that I put some effort into my physical appearance.” Physical appearance does matter, but there is now this skewed perception held by a multitude of people, myself too often included, that appearance is all that matters. Appearance is only part of the package and a very temporary part for that matter. I feel that I need to spend more time working on improving other aspects of myself that are permanent and relevant. I think it is easiest to focus on some parts of life while neglecting others. I hope to find some sort of balance, that is my aim in this attempt at a blog. To utilize the internet in a manner that will help me to improve myself.
Oh and in conclusion: I have far too many clothes.